Skip to content


    When someone comes from a controlling family with strong beliefs and/or honour based norms, they may not have their family’s support to leave an abusive partner, as divorce and separation may be seen as something that brings shame. If the partner hasn’t been accepted by the family to start with, this may lead to the person who is being abused becoming even more isolated and in need of support from outside the family. The relationship in which they are being abused may be the very reason that they have broken all contact with their family.

    Another problem can be that the person they are, or have been, in a relationship with threatens to reveal things to the family that they know the family will not accept, making it a part of the emotional abuse. For example threatening to spread rumours or show pictures which can make it difficult for you to leave, report or seek help.

    It can feel difficult to seek help if you are afraid of being met by ignorance or prejudice, such as if you only talk to a controlling parent, they will understand the situation. Perhaps you are afraid that your relationship will be exposed if you tell someone. But getting support and being able to talk about what you are experiencing is often very important and if for various reasons you can’t talk to friends or family, there are other places you can turn to.

    On we have knowledge of honour-related violence and we are here for you if you want to talk about your experiences, regardless of what they look like. You can always be completely anonymous and we listen to you. Chat with us here. Here you can read more about abuse in young people’s relationships and about different forms of abuse.