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What is a healthy relationship?

    What’s important to you when you’re in a relationship with someone or meet someone new? When is your relationship healthy and when is it unhealthy and not good?

    There is not one answer for everyone, but being able to trust each other and be open and honest with each other is usually a good start. It is also important to be considerate, by listening to and respecting each other. Many people want to feel there is some “chemistry”, that you have fun together and that you can be yourself.

    All relationships have their ups and downs and no relationship is perfect. If your relationship is healthy you will get better at listening to, understanding and communicating with each other. In a healthy relationship you take care of yourself and each other. The relationship is positive (constructive) and gives you energy, instead of being negative (destructive) and taking away your energy.


    The basis for a healthy relationship is that it is mutual, in other words both of you want to be together. One key to a relationship that works is good communication. Good communication means listening to the other person, talking about your own feelings and needs, and resolving any conflicts together. Another key is wanting to get to know yourself better. You have to find out what you need in a relationship. You also have to want to understand the person you’re with, for example that person’s thoughts and expectations.

    When it comes to abuse, on the other hand, it’s important to remember that however much you try to “understand” why someone is jealous or abusive, there’s nothing YOU can do to make it stop. The abuse is not your fault. There may be lots of different explanations but they’re never an excuse for abuse.

    Being with someone is an ongoing project where you always have to be aware of how you are both feeling. You can only do this by communicating, in other words by talking and listening.

    Another thing you can do is ask yourself from time to time how your relationship makes you feel.

    For example, you can think about which three words best describe your relationship:

    Honesty, Humour, Closeness, Accusations, Conversation, Sex, Suspicion, Jealousy, Love, Control, Balance, Equality, Safety, Silent conflicts/treatment, Loud conflicts/arguments/arguments, Time for yourself, Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Insecurity, Anxiety, Lies, Deception, Communication